Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Putting My Foot Down...Then Lifting it Back Up

So Friday I had this form I had to finish and submit. It was the last day (of course, I'm a procrastinator!) to file for reimbursement for travel expenses, and I will be heading to a conference in Seattle in May. The office staff in my department are...well...let's just say it is important to stay on their good sides. One toe out of line, usually, and the entire department gets a snide email about the evils of leaving a banana peal by the computer, clogging the copy machine, or, of course, being late with forms. Anyway, I had to get the form done.

And Squidge was NOT cooperating. She was tired and was fighting sleep as she always does and nothing would appease her, nothing. She was shrieking like a banshee no matter what I did. And it was then, as I was jiggling her around trying fruitlessly to finish the form while she screamed, that I cracked.

I picked her up, marched her to her crib, set her in it, turned on our fabulous video monitor (thank you EmilyPie!), shut the door behind me, and went back to my computer. I could see her screaming on the monitor...and screaming...and screaming...but I couldn't hear it.

I felt triumphant. I AM TAKING MY LIFE BACK, I pronounced to myself! See, I can let her cry it out! She WILL learn to nap in her crib. She WILL learn to be put down for TEN DANG MINUTES sometimes and entertain herself. I was strong. I was resolute. I called my mom and told her we are laying down a new law: no more cuddling and coddling to sleep--this is always what she gets and it's getting harder and harder! When she gets sleepy, she's going down for a nap. My mom applauded me taking a stand and promised to help. A while later I woke her up to take her to school, and she clearly wasn't too happy with me, but I was assured of my RIGHTness.

Well.

Then I started looking around on the internet (oh you bain and blessing!) for suggestions about how to get nap-hating babies to go down. And I started finding all these websites that say it's BAD to let babies cry it out...that it BREAKS THEIR SPIRITS.

And then I started feeling AWFUL. Scarlett has so much spirit...and I would be BREAKING that spirit? Like, cracking, fracturing, suppressing, breaking? Oh, what a terrible mom! How could I do such a thing? I want my daughter to be spirited!

So. Back to square one. No more letting her cry it out, at least for awhile. Instead I'm going to start putting her in her crib every time she falls asleep in hopes that she'll get used to it. My mom agreed...but I've already caught her cheating. Two days into the new regime. And, um...I've cheated too.

It's tough to be a mom.

5 comments:

natasha | sohobutterfly said...

Babies are tough, aren't they? Someone was telling me on Monday that children are far easier than dogs, but I gotta disagree.

Lauryn said...

I can't imagine how tough it must be to listen to your baby scream her head off and try to find the right balance between "crying it out" and being firm. I'm sure you'll get into a rhythm. It sounds like you're doing a great job.

My only opinion is to try not to let this happen, for your own sake: my relatives had a baby who would not go down in her crib EVER. Instead of finding a way to get her to calm down and fall asleep on her own, they proceeded to rock her to sleep every time she napped or went to bed until she was over two years old. To this day they still have to lay in bed with her until she falls asleep! Now, I don't think that there is any "right" method of parenting (especially since I'm not one yet!) but this just seems so counterproductive, and time-consuming for parents and babysitters.

Along the same lines, my cousin and his wife still have their 1.5-year-old sleeping in their bed because she can't stand to hear him cry when they put him in his crib!

To each his own I guess :) You've got to do what's right for you.

Tricia said...

Let me tell you, it took A LOT of discipline to get here. And I still shop at Walmart! Ayanna is already into Hannah Montana, and they have some cute "Hannah Montana" shirts and jammies. There is NOTHING wrong with Walmart! A few years ago, we were in the same position, so don't feel bad. Johns hard work paid off and that is why we are here. YOUR hard work will pay off to Girl. You'll see. When we were down, I used to tell John, "Well atleast its nice to live poor like we do...." We had just built this house, got married and right away BAMM.. had a baby. Things will look up before you know it.

The Peterson Life said...

At this very moment, I am breaking Ramona's spirit. It's different when they are a year. They start playing you...totally! :)

Anonymous said...

Oh Mama, I feel your pain! If it makes you feel even the tiniest bit better, I "put my foot down" with all 3 of my babies, and they got the hang of it in a week or so. The earlier you start, the easier it is. And my 8 year old has PLENTY of spirit. Spirit to spare. Spirit a'plenty. Spirit galore. Spirit out the wazoo.

For every article you read showing the downside of ANY parenting technique, there's one that pops up with all the positives. It's beyond confusing. You just have to trust your maternal insticts and do whatever is best for everyone's sanity! Hopefully you'll be able to find a happy medium somewhere. Best of luck to you!

(Hi, by the way! I found you through EmilyPie, and wanted to check out the site of the mom with the adorable baby!)