The Road More Travelled

A good friend of my husbands', who has been living and working overseas for the past two years, has just announced that he is renouncing his wordly possessions, as well as contact with Mr. Happy, to join a Buddhist monastery in Thailand.

And yes, he's serious.

To all of us, this news came out of left field, although I don't think any of us were really all THAT surprised. In the email he sent out announcing this, his reasons were very well laid out, pre-empting all the potential "but what about" questions that were guaranteed to come his way from those who love him (because of course when we love someone, we want them to live like us, to value what we value, right?) His time overseas has intensified his interest in spirituality and achieving some sense of peace and balance in the tumultuous world has become a priority.

Reading his email, I feel like my tongue was silenced...my "but what abouts" were stolen before they became words, my thoughts were shhh-d before they became objections. His absolute confidence that this is the right thing has put me in a state of statis where acceptance and doubt meet and invalidate each other. I literally have no response (very odd for me).

But I can't help thinking about the state of his life right now, and how it is at such a polar opposite from ours, mine and my husbands'. He will be giving up, while we will be trying to acquire. He will be foregoing worries, while we court them, worrying constantly about how we will live and support our daughter on way less income than we used to have. We, quite honestly, will continue to WANT money, sometimes quite desperately; it will (or should) cease to be of value to him. His focus will become entirely vested in the personal as ours has suddenly shifted to thinking incessantly about someone else, our daughter, and far less about ourselves and the state of our own beings. In fact, the time when we can seek silence to truly hear ourselves think will be long in coming, if at all. We will continue to eat after noon, will wake up at 4:30 only if our little one is crying for love and attention, and will beg food at the doors of others only if we need to borrow an egg or some sugar from my sister next door, which we will use to cook some delicious, unnecessary, indulgent creature comfort. We have a family now, and we will have love and companionship and comfort but not, in all likelihood, spiritual epiphany.

Our paths, here, truly diverge.

Interesting, isn't it?